…I wonder

The Best Father of All

Cross Posted from WeUsed2bu

Rain and Trees

“You don’t trust Me.”

I heard it loud and clear with my spiritual ears. God was right. I didn’t trust Him.

I had been walking barefoot in the fall rain, crying my heart out, begging God to take me home. “I’m done! I’m done with this life! I’m so tired of problem after problem in this miserable life.” I mentally shook my fist towards Heaven, “When does it ever get good?!? I hate life! Why was I ever born?

“Just take me! Everyone will be fine without me. I know you’ll take care of my kids the way you took care of…” I couldn’t say it. I just couldn’t say the word me.

That’s when I sensed God looking at me and gently saying, “You don’t trust Me. That is what I want you to see.”

God was right – I didn’t trust Him. How could I? If God was like my earthly father, then all I could expect was having to perform for love. I didn’t rate having time spent with me. Oh, my earthly dad played the occasional game of Monopoly with all five kids. After the divorce, I rated once every other weekend for an afternoon in which he laid on the beach while I swam and played, or we went bowling for a couple of hours. There was no money for braces or other necessities because my dad’s mistress got new jewelry or furniture, or it was lost in gambling. I don’t remember many deep conversations. To be fair, my charismatic dad had a lot of great qualities – he was intelligent, had a great sense of humor, and used to call me “sugar.” But what I needed as a daughter growing up, I did not get. As a result, I ended up quite insecure and with a very low self-esteem. Compound that with looking for that missing love in all the wrong places, and you can see that I was one big mess.

Sadly, my dad was imperfect. The only experience I had with a father was one where he would not provide physically, emotionally or spiritually for his little girl. How was God any different? He is, after all, a Father. God became my Father seven years earlier when I accepted the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ, but I still viewed Him as my earthly father and I didn’t trust Him. I didn’t think He took very good care of me growing up.

This truth shook me to the very core of my soul. I didn’t understand how I could trust God.

That was five years ago. Today, I love my Father in Heaven with such a passion that it brings tears to my eyes. I am complete and healed. I have a great identity in Jesus Christ, and I love myself. More importantly, I trust God implicitly no matter what is going on in my life. He is my Abba, my Daddy.

How did I get there? That day as I cried, sitting in the cold, soaked to the bone and hoping for pneumonia, I made a decision. I was going to trust God. Blind faith. Not from anything I could see, just an intellectual decision. And once I made that decision, the miracles began. It was like choosing to trust God was the key to unlocking the door to intimate fellowship with Him, personally experiencing His Love, and watching His Healing in my life.

It makes sense – you can’t really have a relationship with someone that you don’t trust, right?

I began to learn God’s Word such as:

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Isaiah 40:31 NLT But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

See also Isaiah 50:10, 1 John 4:16, Hebrews 10:21-23, Romans 15:13, Jude 1:1.

I learned that there was peace in trusting God.

Isaiah 26:3 NLT You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

The more I studied, the more I learned about God’s Love for me:

  • God loves me as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23)
  • God delights in me and rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17)
  • God considers me His treasured possession (Zechariah 2:8)
  • My name is carved into the palm of God’s Hand (Isaiah 49:16)
  • God is my Father (Hebrews 12:5-7, 1 John 3:1-3)

Slowly and surely, as I began believing the Word I was reading, and speaking the incredible truths, my heart began to recognize the love that God has always had for me. I saw that I was a beautiful creation and that He had begun a good work in me (Philippians 1:6) which He was going to finish.

I’ve experienced miracles such as a physical warmth when He held me in His arms while I cried out to Him. I’ve felt hope blossom in my heart at my request, when all I felt was despair seconds before. I have seen a vision of Jesus holding me throughout my whole life of mistakes and bad circumstances. I’ve recognized the times He saved me from rape, murder, and complete addictions. I see the times He has sent His angels to rescue me from dangerous situations.

My Daddy in Heaven has miraculously provided where there was no provision, shut the enemy’s ears when what I was saying needed not to be heard, helped my prodigal daughter find her way back home, and told me I was beautiful when I felt my ugliest. My Beautiful God has helped me forgive my earthly father who is now home with Jesus. Yes, dad accepted Jesus Christ a few years before he died. That’s a miracle.

My Abba has taken all the ugly in my life, and is now using it for His Glory to bring others to Him and to help them find healing. He is using the brokenness that the world has thrown at me to connect with others and offer them hope as I share what He has done, and continues doing, in my life.

You can see that it is not at all like an earthly father.

There is Super Natural Healing. There is comfort, shelter, forgiveness, fellowship, personal revelations, and so much more!

Regardless of the father you have on earth, remember you have a loving Father in Heaven (Psalm 27:10).

Romans 8:15 NLT So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”

The key that has opened the door for me is deciding to trust God, no matter what. Will you make that decision to trust God? No matter what the circumstances are? No matter what you’ve been through? No matter who your earthly father is and what he does?

You can expect miracles on the other side…

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