…I wonder

A Drawing of the Fighting Man (TFM #1)

The Fighting Man

The Fighting Man (Part 1)

This is the first in a series of articles on a subject that God has burned deeply into my heart.

The Lord has been showing me that “The Fighting Man” (TFM) is very much a part of this world, and is becoming less and less restrained. His presence is causing major problems in relationships with families, friends, acquaintances, fellow employees, and so on.

Here is a good example. My friend’s husband wrote a satirical piece and posted it on an online newspaper forum. It explained how lawmakers were proposing two tracks of s*x education in school, one track taught abstinence and the other safe s*x. The satire came in when he proposed two tracks for cheating, one for abstinence and one for safe cheating.

There were a total of 58 comments on this one; the majority were negative responses. The amount of hate and name-calling that spewed forth was extraordinary! The Fighting Man ruled!

Rhetoric was dead. Only one man challenged him on his point and actively discussed the point; everyone else attacked him in a rude and vulgar way. The majority missed the satire entirely. Intelligent thought processes were not present at all and it bothered me so much that I could not sleep that night. Why? Because it brought home the fact that the majority of the American population has lost its ability to debate, and believes that to argue a point, the opponent must be attacked and cut down to pieces while the issue floats around untouched. Very sad indeed!

I remember watching “Raymond” and “Tim, The Tool-man Taylor” during my television days. The amount of sarcasm that the spouses hurled at each other was overwhelming. The winner was the one who could cut the other person down the best, which produced the most laughs from the audience. The fighting was saddening. The lack of respect was very evident and loving-kindness towards each other shone through very rarely. The Fighting Man is very evident in these shows and many other programs that grace our homes through all types of media.

No wonder responses to editorials and debates drip with sarcasm, name-calling, disrespect, stated violence, and personal attacks!

What does He Look Like?

I drew TFM on my whiteboard the other day for my two younger children. This is what God wanted me to teach them that week. So as I drew him, I explained all the character traits that he displayed to the world.

A note: as I described it to my kids and as I write this, I use the word “he,” but we “she’s” are definitely not exempt! I believe all humans carry within them TFM to a degree. Some may wear all of the descriptions that follow, some may sport a few, and some may be lucky to own just one! 🙂

The way I imagine this, the head of TFM is full of hate words, revenge, come-backs, sarcasm, and death. His heart brims over with anger, bitterness, and hate. He stands on the ground of “I Am Right!!” and his boots are called “Prove”; he is constantly out to prove that he is right. His sword in his right hand is contention – the confrontation is just on the tip of whatever he does. The gun in his left hand reports yelling, quarreling and violence. He is surrounded by a bubble; the outside always takes offense, the inside is on the defense. The most important thing to note is that the clothes he wears are shaped like the number “1”; his all-consuming idol is himself. He is the most important person; his opinions, his cause, his feelings, and his needs supercede everyone else’s.

Which is why he is so ready to fight all the time…

I’ve asked my husband to draw his view on TFM and scan it in so I can share it with you. Now, I warn you, this person is missing his gown shaped like a number one! 🙂The Angry ManTFM at Home

A young man stopped by my house the other day and was describing his situation at home. He could do no right in the eyes of his wife. Every time a fight ensued, all of his past garbage was flung at him over and over again. He could never escape it, no matter how many bad habits he had overcome, no matter what he had changed for her.

At times, he would begin a discussion by using the key words “I feel like this,” but it would more often than not escalate to yelling within seconds even though he responded in whispers, trying to difuse the situation. He feels he has to give in to every argument in order to keep the peace. All he could do was go and apologize every time without receiving any apology himself. He feels like he is the only one admitting fault, while his wife would accept that as fact and not look within herself to see if maybe she had a hand in it also.

I’m not blind, and neither is he – this young man admits that he is not perfect. He is just tired of the constant confrontation and of not being able to move forward. He sadly admitted that he could not see this marriage lasting a year longer. He loves her and is broken hearted about it all, especially since they have a child together.

Since I could see the whiteboard behind him where I had drawn The Fighting Man, and he had not yet seen it, I asked the following, “Would you say that her head is full of hate words, revenge, come-backs, sarcasm, and death? And I mean to death to the relationship here. Is her heart full of anger and hate? Does she get offended at everything and is on the defensive constantly? Does she always need to prove herself right? Is is all about her?”

He looked at me with an *are you kidding?* look and countered, “Isn’t that what I’ve been saying for the past half hour?!? Weren’t you listening?”

I pointed to the board behind him and said, “I’m just going through every word that God gave me as the description of The Fighting Man. He gave that to me today.”

He looked behind him, his eyes wide with incredulity, and realized that it was all drawn out as he had described it. Coincidence? I don’t think so…

1 Corinthians 3:3 NIV You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

2 Corinthians 12:20 NIV …I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

In the next article, The State of our Hearts, we will take a good look at the heart of The Fighting Man, and how we can take steps to identify any characteristics in our own hearts.

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